I was going to write about something else, but I feel compelled to write about children and just how important it is that we remember they are children even in this troubled world we live in. Things that happen to you when you are a child stay with you for the rest of your life.
Children are not mini adults who can rationalize everything, they are little innocent beings who can be scarred for life by some stupid action we take or don't take. They can be scarred for life because some unenlightened monster bullies them in the cafeteria or tells them they are ugly. They end up thinking they are not good enough or deserving of anything because when they were a fragile child someone made fun of them. I was one of those fragile children who basically grew up thinking I was all the terrible things some little bully said to me.
They called me Alvin the Chipmunk. They laughed at me when my clothes were dirty or I was unkempt because my mother was going through a major depression. They called me Chunka and made up a wonderful song from the school house rock theme, Conjuction Chunka what's your function, I east all day and get real fat, because I was slightly chubby. My weight was nothing compared to the children of today who now need even more food to protect their souls from their ugly little peers. I wore pink toughskins so you guessed it my nickname for months and months and months was toughskin. They made fun of me from the first bell to the last bell of school my entire school life.
I'm kind of amazed I can remember some of this awful crap but I guess it proves my point that things that are done when a child is little can traumatize them the rest of their life. Believe it or not I sort of consider the fact that I was traumatized a blessing. Children of today have to live with these monsters when they go home too. They have to live with Facebook, and Myspace and Formspring, where these little monsters can follow them home and make their entire lives a living hell. There are stories after stories of these poor children who take their own lives because they just can't cope with the constant bullying of their peers night and day.
Another aspect of this post is the aftermath, the problems all that horror brings to your adulthood. You make terrible choices. You walk around with a closed heart. You feel you have no value. That there is nothing important you can share about your life that will mean anything to anyone and you allow people to make all your decisions for you and never trust your own abilities. Kind of a lot to put on a the shoulders of a little monster but someone has to say it.
So teach your children that it is never ok to elevate themselves by stepping on the backs of those less fortunate then themselves. Remind them that for the grace of god, that poor child they torment could very well be them in the next class or the next school or the next lifetime.
And I give thanks and gratitude that I have finally seen the light and found myself under all the pounds and bad decisions and garbage I carried around for my lifetime. And richly my main little monster at my 10 year high school reunion told me how sorry he was for making my life miserable. Well your welcome, I hope you read this and realize it was written about you. And if it makes you just a little sad and a little ashamed, welcome to my world.
Please treat your children well and have a constant open discussion with them about what is happening in their school. And give them a hug every day.
I've decided on a theme for this particular blog, children. I think finding the wounded and invisible child in all of us is my purpose in life.
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